I was up just before 7:30 this morning, and had enough time to make lunch and not be in a rush I was out at the bus stop just after 8:00 and on any normal day I’d be getting to work either on time or earlier. But then I hadn’t counted on snow and a traffic jam that started two bus stops past my own (that’s just after Belmont Drive bus stop) and went right the way past the car dealerships.
Couple this fact with nobody having keys this morning and having to wait for a guy that normally doesn’t even work on Fridays to come in with them, and - you guest it – I walked in at the same I do every morning; 15 minutes past my start time.
I can’t win.
Friday, March 04, 2005
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Where Everybody Knows My Name
Michelle is the first person I can think of it happening with. First time I met her she said ‘Oh I know you!’ Turns out we were in the same class in Primary Six (something which I still have no recollection of). It happens all the time and I can’t understand it. I hardly ever go out now and before that I never went out at all for about three years. I never speak to people I don’t know. So why do all these people keep saying they know me?
I was asking about Nigel’s new girlfriend last night and he said ‘Oh, she knows you’ much like Michelle had said all those years ago. The same thing happened with a girl Sparkie was seeing a few months ago and when I met my friend Elaine at the dancing, whose boyfriend was with her and I am certain I have never laid eyes on, said the same thing again. And there are others too.
Sometimes they don’t give the ‘Oh’. Sometimes they say ‘Well *he/she* doesn’t really know you, but *he/she* knows your name.’ How! Why do people know my name? How have I, of all people, got such notoriety? I would be surprised if even my best friends spoke about me. There are no stories about me as far as I know, I don’t do anything interesting and I don’t work with people that live in East Kilbride.
I just can’t work it out.
I was asking about Nigel’s new girlfriend last night and he said ‘Oh, she knows you’ much like Michelle had said all those years ago. The same thing happened with a girl Sparkie was seeing a few months ago and when I met my friend Elaine at the dancing, whose boyfriend was with her and I am certain I have never laid eyes on, said the same thing again. And there are others too.
Sometimes they don’t give the ‘Oh’. Sometimes they say ‘Well *he/she* doesn’t really know you, but *he/she* knows your name.’ How! Why do people know my name? How have I, of all people, got such notoriety? I would be surprised if even my best friends spoke about me. There are no stories about me as far as I know, I don’t do anything interesting and I don’t work with people that live in East Kilbride.
I just can’t work it out.
Old Friends Are Best
Sparkie and Nigel were round last night for the first time in ages. I had barely seen Sparkie for more than an hour all year due to his constantly working his two jobs. Even though we just sat about and watched TV it was a good laugh and we were comfortable in the way you can only be in the company of old friends.Wow, that’s all I have to say. My shortest post ever I think.
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Why do I like these things?
:::FAVORITE:::
Movie: – The Godfather.
Book: - Without Remorse.
TV Program: - The West Wing.
Cartoon: - Roadrunner.
Band/singer: - Gomez.
Song: - There She Goes – The La’s.
Food: - Cheese.
Time of year: - Late Autumn.
Thing about yourself: - I'm always honest.
Time of the week: - Friday at 5pm (when else?).
Joke: -
Want your superpower to be? Super human strength.
Kill for? Vengeance and love… possibly the last of my mums lemon pie.
Die for? Michelle and my principals.
Change about yourself? My scabby feet.
Buy first with your lottery winnings? The contents of Borders.
Do with 3 wishes? Get money, Have superman’s powers, know everything.
Say to God? Guess I was wrong.
Sell your soul for? To get back someone else’s.
Work as in your ideal life? Comic book writer.
Do to change the world? Destroy the Bush administration.
:::WOULD YOU EVER:::
Steal? Maybe. Depends
Pose nude? Sure, the world needs laughter.
Kiss a person of the same sex? I rarely have much choice about it.
Sing in public? Only in a crowd.
::: PICK ONE :::
Sing or Act? Act.
Fight or Walk Away? Walk away.
Baby Boy or Baby Girl? Girl.
Give up Booze or Give up Cigarettes? I don’t use either.
Half full or Half empty? There’s water in it; it is what it is.
Live without sex or Live without love? Oooooo Sex, no wait! Love… no wait! Sex… I suppose. Maybe.
Books or Films? Books.
Phone or Text? Text.
Personality or Looks? I would have said looks before but Michelle’s gorgeous anyway so I’ll say personality.
:::WHAT IS:::
Your greatest fear? Upsetting people.
Your biggest regret? Leaving collage
The thing most people don't know about you? I never learned to read.
Your talent? Writing hopefully.
Your proudest achievement? Saving over £1000 pounds in the last couple of weeks a finally getting big boy pants after 14 years of soggy failure.
The best thing about you? My stunning wit and charm.
The worst thing about you? My almost constant sarcasm and my ‘little storm’ moods.
The most fun you've ever had? Pervert. Seriously though 29 July 1999. The whole day.
The dumbest thing you've ever done? Had sex for about two years straight without having any protection. Ever.
:::WHO:::
Do you love? Michelle.
Do you trust? Michelle and David mostly but all of my friends.
Knows you best? Michelle, David and Sparkie.
Is like the brother/sister you never had? Sparkie and Dave.
Movie: – The Godfather.
Book: - Without Remorse.
TV Program: - The West Wing.
Cartoon: - Roadrunner.
Band/singer: - Gomez.
Song: - There She Goes – The La’s.
Food: - Cheese.
Time of year: - Late Autumn.
Thing about yourself: - I'm always honest.
Time of the week: - Friday at 5pm (when else?).
Joke: -
Paddy and Mick are late for their biology class, and in an attempt to save time
they jump over a fence. Paddy makes the jump but Mick falls short and is stuck
with a spike in him. Paddy runs into the class,
‘Miss miss! Mick’s feel and
got a spike up ‘is arse!’ He shouts as he comes into the class.
The teacher,
appalled by Paddy’s terminology and corrects him, ‘Rectum Patrick!’ she
bellows.
‘Wrecked ‘im? It nearly fuckin’ killed him miss!’ says Paddy.
Swear word: - Sons of Bitches.
Want your superpower to be? Super human strength.
Kill for? Vengeance and love… possibly the last of my mums lemon pie.
Die for? Michelle and my principals.
Change about yourself? My scabby feet.
Buy first with your lottery winnings? The contents of Borders.
Do with 3 wishes? Get money, Have superman’s powers, know everything.
Say to God? Guess I was wrong.
Sell your soul for? To get back someone else’s.
Work as in your ideal life? Comic book writer.
Do to change the world? Destroy the Bush administration.
:::WOULD YOU EVER:::
Steal? Maybe. Depends
Pose nude? Sure, the world needs laughter.
Kiss a person of the same sex? I rarely have much choice about it.
Sing in public? Only in a crowd.
::: PICK ONE :::
Sing or Act? Act.
Fight or Walk Away? Walk away.
Baby Boy or Baby Girl? Girl.
Give up Booze or Give up Cigarettes? I don’t use either.
Half full or Half empty? There’s water in it; it is what it is.
Live without sex or Live without love? Oooooo Sex, no wait! Love… no wait! Sex… I suppose. Maybe.
Books or Films? Books.
Phone or Text? Text.
Personality or Looks? I would have said looks before but Michelle’s gorgeous anyway so I’ll say personality.
:::WHAT IS:::
Your greatest fear? Upsetting people.
Your biggest regret? Leaving collage
The thing most people don't know about you? I never learned to read.
Your talent? Writing hopefully.
Your proudest achievement? Saving over £1000 pounds in the last couple of weeks a finally getting big boy pants after 14 years of soggy failure.
The best thing about you? My stunning wit and charm.
The worst thing about you? My almost constant sarcasm and my ‘little storm’ moods.
The most fun you've ever had? Pervert. Seriously though 29 July 1999. The whole day.
The dumbest thing you've ever done? Had sex for about two years straight without having any protection. Ever.
:::WHO:::
Do you love? Michelle.
Do you trust? Michelle and David mostly but all of my friends.
Knows you best? Michelle, David and Sparkie.
Is like the brother/sister you never had? Sparkie and Dave.
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
Three Weeks in ’98: All That Glitters
Due to the recent epidemic of the cold/flu I was reminded of the worst cold I ever had, and it just so happens that it was on the final day of my three week odyssey.
I’d been on my own for three weeks and despite the parties and nightly gatherings, the majority of which lasted into the early hours, I never missed one day of school. I was a good boy, such a good boy in fact that on the final day of parents holiday when I was feeling the effects of a cold I still went to school.
My condition gradually worsened as the day went on. My head got fuzzier, my nose got runnier, my sweat gave my face a sheen and my bones ached.
My last class that day was a two hour art class, and when I got there I discovered that my art teacher was replaced by a substitute - We later found out that our art teacher would not be coming back and had apparently hit the jackpot and sold off a range of his painting to some gallery. I don’t have to tell you what happens in a class room when you have a substitute teacher, but I will say for the benefit of anyone who was a good student that it’s not a hell of a lot of work.
I sat beside Lisa Reynolds and, as this was the design portion of our Higher, she was diligently working away on whatever she had been making with glue, paper, glitter, and all kinds of other stuff which I wasn’t remotely interested in at the time. At the time I was too busy taking my illness like a man, that is to say I was bitching and moaning in a pathetic kind of way. Lisa kept telling me to shut up and kept messing about with her stuff so that she would stop working and keep me company in my weakened state. This back and forth went on for quite a while and by the time I gave up and put my head down on the desk Lisa was looking for revenge for my constant disruptions. I have to say, she did manage to brighten me up a bit, but I was none too applicative for it given that my brightening was less to do with light-hearted jovial conversation and sympathy and more to do with the glitter she sprinkled over me.
GLITTER FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I held my own for as long as I could, but my exhausted and sick body could only hold out for so long and I was over whelmed in glinting defeat. My sweat glazed face proved to be the perfect pallet for the glitter and was not helped any by my usual black ensemble. By the time I left the class people who walked past me had to shield their eyes from my radiant gleam.
I got home trailing twinkle like Tinkerbelle’s bastard son and I was ill. A lot of people say their ill a lot of the time, but they don’t know what ill is. Ill is wincing with every movement, ill is sweat making the clothes your wearing damp, ill is passing out while you try to take you school shirt off.
I woke up some time later with Johnny standing over me. I had said to all my friends just to come in while my parents were away, and I’m glad I did otherwise who knows how long I would have lay there.
The rest had done me good however and I felt a little healthier as Johnny and I were going down stairs. What I saw when I opened the living room door I wondered if I were maybe still asleep or perhaps hallucinating. It was the same feeling I had when I stepped into the kitchen. Did I do it before I passed out? No, I was sure I hadn’t but yet it was true; the house was clean!
I later found out that Sparkie’s dad had come over during my unconscious slumber and had cleaned the house from top to bottom, completely unaware that I was out cold in my room thanks to his respect for my privacy.
I’d been on my own for three weeks and despite the parties and nightly gatherings, the majority of which lasted into the early hours, I never missed one day of school. I was a good boy, such a good boy in fact that on the final day of parents holiday when I was feeling the effects of a cold I still went to school.
My condition gradually worsened as the day went on. My head got fuzzier, my nose got runnier, my sweat gave my face a sheen and my bones ached.
My last class that day was a two hour art class, and when I got there I discovered that my art teacher was replaced by a substitute - We later found out that our art teacher would not be coming back and had apparently hit the jackpot and sold off a range of his painting to some gallery. I don’t have to tell you what happens in a class room when you have a substitute teacher, but I will say for the benefit of anyone who was a good student that it’s not a hell of a lot of work.
I sat beside Lisa Reynolds and, as this was the design portion of our Higher, she was diligently working away on whatever she had been making with glue, paper, glitter, and all kinds of other stuff which I wasn’t remotely interested in at the time. At the time I was too busy taking my illness like a man, that is to say I was bitching and moaning in a pathetic kind of way. Lisa kept telling me to shut up and kept messing about with her stuff so that she would stop working and keep me company in my weakened state. This back and forth went on for quite a while and by the time I gave up and put my head down on the desk Lisa was looking for revenge for my constant disruptions. I have to say, she did manage to brighten me up a bit, but I was none too applicative for it given that my brightening was less to do with light-hearted jovial conversation and sympathy and more to do with the glitter she sprinkled over me.
GLITTER FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I held my own for as long as I could, but my exhausted and sick body could only hold out for so long and I was over whelmed in glinting defeat. My sweat glazed face proved to be the perfect pallet for the glitter and was not helped any by my usual black ensemble. By the time I left the class people who walked past me had to shield their eyes from my radiant gleam.
I got home trailing twinkle like Tinkerbelle’s bastard son and I was ill. A lot of people say their ill a lot of the time, but they don’t know what ill is. Ill is wincing with every movement, ill is sweat making the clothes your wearing damp, ill is passing out while you try to take you school shirt off.
I woke up some time later with Johnny standing over me. I had said to all my friends just to come in while my parents were away, and I’m glad I did otherwise who knows how long I would have lay there.
The rest had done me good however and I felt a little healthier as Johnny and I were going down stairs. What I saw when I opened the living room door I wondered if I were maybe still asleep or perhaps hallucinating. It was the same feeling I had when I stepped into the kitchen. Did I do it before I passed out? No, I was sure I hadn’t but yet it was true; the house was clean!
I later found out that Sparkie’s dad had come over during my unconscious slumber and had cleaned the house from top to bottom, completely unaware that I was out cold in my room thanks to his respect for my privacy.
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