The principal of Mindfulness (as it relates to psychology) is to bring your attention and awareness to the here and now; to live in the present rather that fester on the past and/or worry about the future. To achieve this, students of Mindfulness are taught meditation and some yoga based techniques.
The course was eight weeks long and each weeks session lasted roughly two hours. I wasn’t really sure what to expect, I had never even considered using the practices which John had spoke of as means of dealing with my depression; not because I didn’t think it would work, it wast just not something that was within my sphere of reference.
I was very nervous on the first night. For months before walking into the class I had only had a social relationship with one friend, my two-year-old son, my wife, and my mother. When I arrived I was greeted with weak smiles, little nods, and tension so thick that I practically could have swam to my chair. The question was this: In a room full of people with anxiety, who will speak first?
For the majority of the first session, the group introduced themselves, discussed rules, and were asked to say what they expected to get out of the course. In my case, I felt that Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) may have taken me as far as it could, and I hoped this different approach may help me further along.
At the end of the session John told us to lay out our yoga mats (yes, I bought one.) and that we were going to try an exercise called the Body Scan. Despite my initial thoughts on hearing this — run! It’s a cult! They're going to touch you! — I actually found the Body Scan incredibly effective. It relaxed me in a way that I hadn’t been for months; even my shoulders (usually like blocks of concrete) felt loose.
Over the next few weeks we, the group, learned a variety of techniques on how be mindful. At first I struggled with how exactly Mindfulness could help me, but then I read something in the paperwork which made it all into place. The section described how people with depression/anxiety will often find outlets to take them away from their thoughts and/or ways to avoid interacting with the world. The paper referred to this as being ‘addicted to distraction’, a sentence which fits me so perfectly that it could be carved on my gravestone. When I read that I realised that, although Mindfulness itself is essentially a distraction, it is a much healthier distraction. Rather than say, busying yourself with ‘Angry Birds’, you would instead try to live in he moment, taking in everything around you and bringing awareness to the here and now.
The course ended on Wednesday night and ultimately I’m unsure if I will be able to use Mindfulness to my full advantage. I believe the theory is sound, I believe that the techniques are useful, but I have a couple of barriers which are holding me back. Firstly, there’s time; the process of learning mindfulness practices is described as being simple but not easy — meaning that the concept is easy to understand, but that the goal can be difficult to achieve. The key to learning how best to use mindfulness is the same as it is when learning any new skill: practice. It is advised in the course that you use what is called formal practice — the body scan, meditation, yoga based exercises — and informal practice, which is just bringing the principals of attention and awareness to your everyday life. Formal practice should be done for 30 - 40 minutes per day. Per. Day. During the course of any given day I have just over one hour to myself. Of course, you would think that this would be ample time for me to engage in my formal practice, and you would be right; if not for my second problem: the hangover. No, not unexpected comedy hit of 2009 ‘The Hangover’, the hangover I’m referring to is the after effect of the little mood regulating pill I take each night before bed. I get up just after 6:30am every morning (cheers, son.) but I wouldn’t say I really wake up until just before early afternoon. That free hour which I spoke of before falls dead centre of that time frame, and the chances of me not falling asleep while attempting formal practice and waking up in time to collect my boy from nursery is close to nil. Despite these barriers, I will endeavour to use Mindfulness as best I can.
Over the eight weeks of attending the group I found some practices were more helpful than others, but I almost always felt better at the end of each class than I did it the start; the main reason for this was the people I was with. Together, we all learned a new way to think. A new way to face the world. Whether or not I’m ever able to use mindfulness properly, I’m glad I was able to share my time with everyone involved.
