Friday, February 24, 2006

Marcus

Before you scroll down to my new post I’d just like to say a few things about Marcus Barron, who I met a few weeks ago in my training team and who was found dead in his home on Monday morning.

Like I say, I only met him a few weeks ago and was in his company just a little over a week, so I cannot say too much about him. All I can say is that Marcus was a nice guy and that no life should end after just 32 years.

My thoughts are with his family and friends and I hope that yours will be too.

The 125 Million Pound Question – King of Westwood

Remember way back a few weeks ago when the Euro Millions jackpot was £125 million? Well I started to write this way back then. Enjoy.

And so the big draw has past and I’m sorry to say that there are none of us any richer with the winning numbers having been drawn and the spoils going to two Frenchmen and a Spaniard. Of course because they have to split the winnings that mean they’ll only get about 40 million each. Euro bastards.

That being said I of course did not really expect to win, I know the odds of such a thing happening (the same chance as everyone else of course) but I did get to wondering what a person might do with the largest cash prize ever drawn. I’ve got five ideas for what I’d do with the cash but after writing the first one I’ve decided to post them separately. Here’s that first one: -

King of Westwood

As you all should now I am a great fan of the comic book industry and their trade so it should come as no surprise that this idea comes from the pages of Daredevil. The story is called ‘King of Hell’s Kitchen’ (Hell’s Kitchen being a real area of New York where this fiction takes place.) and in it Matt Murdock, who Daredevil is behind the mask, has just won one of the largest lawsuits in history. Matt rebuilt his neighbourhood with his millions, refurbishing buildings, bringing in new business and cleaned up the streets both literally and metaphorically as his alter ego. At this point my plans to do the same for Westwood hit its second snag.

What I didn’t mention before was that Matt’s payout from the law suit was considerably larger than 125 million pounds, and the second snag is of course that I do not have an alter ego with which I could take down the crime level as Matt did.

The first problem I think shouldn’t be too much trouble; it’s Westwood we’re talking about here, Westwood, East Kilbride. No matter what way you look at it it’s not New York City so it’s probably safe to say that Hell’s Kitchen alone may dwarf ‘Scotland’s Sixth Largest New Town’ ™. This being the case I’m pretty sure that my £125,000,000 would be more than adequate to make Westwood a better place to live. As for the second problem, that’s a little trickier. See with out a handy vigilante identity and the total lack of either superpowers or combat skills I would probably have to hire some kind of private security force. That security force would have to be a constant fixture around the neighbourhood in order to be effective and before you know it I’ve gone from saving Westwood to becoming a fascist dictator (see inset) with an iron grip on the goings on in my self proclaimed kingdom.

When all is said and done this was probably the worst of my ideas as I’m sure the residents would not be grateful for my generosity and that, what with the private army and all that, things could go horribly wrong. Come to think of it I’m pretty sure Daredevil got shot or something towards the end of the story…

All these arguments aside my little project, while enriching the lives of friends and neighbours, is sure to eat away at the majority of my hypothetical winnings, and so, in the words a great wise man “screw that”.

More £125 million ideas coming soon!