6 Things

Tell me 6 things about yourself and then tag 6 others to do the same.

1. Although only a handful (if that) of people read this Blog semi regularly at best I love to write it. In fact I just love to write.
2. I have plotted, planned and developed the characters for my own comic book which, like the Blog, I write only for my own amusement. Despite working on the series for years I have only ever written drafts of the first four issues, which have changed dramatically since the last time they were written. The reason I do not have any forward momentum is that, despite an intricate web of well laid sub plots, I am unable to form a sustaining central plot.
3. Recently a Doctor told me that I could not put my knee under any strain. I was told that I would not be able to continue using a exercise bike, cross-trainer, rowing machine or any leg weights. This means that the only exercise I am able to do in order to lose weight is swim. As yet there is no diagnosis of what is actually wrong with my knee.
4. I sat opposite Grant Morrison in Princess Square on Wednesday. Morrison is a top comic book writer whose work made C-List characters like the Doom Patrol and Animal Man into cult figures, and who revitalised franchises like the JLA and the X-Men. He is like the John Lennon of comic books so you can imagine I was quite excited (though I bottled out on an autograph).
5. I hate, or rather have no time for, all people, including children, who have no connection with me. This is the central reason I hate to attend functions which will have large crowds.
6. Though generally sour tempered, anti social, being quite dull and having zero tolerance for the majority of things in life I manage to have many good friends, be mostly inoffensive and am incredibly satisfied with both my character and life.

401

I can vaguely remember the first comic book I ever read. I’m pretty sure it ’87 ’88, I would be 6 or 7 years old, and it was a Captain America comic. The oldest comic I own is an issue of Superman which I bought in 1989. I bought Superman comics and others for years from RS McCall at the Westwood Shops, but one year my mum brought me to Parnie Street in Glasgow to a shop part owned by an old English teacher, and friend of a friend of my family, John McShane. Back then the shop was called AKA Books & Comics but over the years and through a change of ownership the place would simply become known amongst my family as Craig’s shop. My Shop.

I don’t remember exactly when John sold the place or when his partner Pete Root moved his backlist over to the more commercial Forbidden Planet store in Buchanan Street(He would later return to Parnie Street, though this time a few doors down at Kollectables) or when I first met the owners David and his, I think twin, brother who’s name escapes me. What I do remember is that it was near this time that my mum had picked up a leaflet for me to fill in which would mean the store, now A1 Comics, would place an order of comics for me in a file to picked up at a time of my choosing.

My first File was number 311 and I lost it when I was 17 due to not having a job and spending what little money my parents gave me (not a complaint) on Laura Russell , my first and short lived girlfriend. People always say that I’m quite a lucky guy, but the day after Laura dumped me I got a call from A1 to say that as I had not emptied my file for over three months they could no longer continue to keep my comics on file. Honestly, to this day, I still don’t know what broke my heart more.

Before I lost my file my lunch and pocket money had been being saved up each week and every Saturday my friend, Peter Gardener, and I would go into Glasgow on the 18 bus. We had been doing that for three years at the time I lost 311, since I was 14, and every penny I saved went toward the purchase of what I would think of as my alcohol, my escape from the real world.

Two months after the loss of 311 I got my first job serving burgers at McDonalds on the Queensway. My first wage went entirely to the purchase of a Royal Dolton figurine for my mother, as was the tradition set by my sister and brother before me. The second pay however was mine and the first thing I did was open up a new file at A1 Comics – File 401.

As I had when I was fourteen, I visited the shop once weekly to pick up the comics from my shop. This means that until this day I have been going there every week, apart from my three month exile, for yearly 11 years.

I said until today. I said that because today I walked into my shop, had my usual banter with the surly long time employee and my friend Jim Frame, and then told Adam, the weekday manager of A1 Comics to close my file. I know this may all sound pathetic to those who read this post, this obituary of my life long and perhaps defining hobby, but even as I write the words now I can’t help but feel that I have lost a part of myself this afternoon.

That being said the decision to stop buying comic books on a weekly basis was my own and the reasons for doing so are, unlike before, not financial. I just feel I’ve come to a point in my life where I don’t need to find out what happens next every week, I’m tired of the trips in and out of that shop, My Shop which I have been a regular customer of for well over 10 years.

I’ll read the trade paperbacks (which collect storylines into a single book) I’ll still visit My Shop from time to time but there can be no denying that an era has ended today. I convinced myself to do this and I still believe it is what I want and will not turn back. I had told Michelle that I expected protest from the staff, especially Jim, but, as she had told me, there was none. When I told Adam what I wanted to do he simply looked at me then Michelle and back and saw that I was serious, he then sombrely and sadly nodded to me as he agreed to close the file and this significant chapter of my life along with it.

Il Padrino

On my ‘Waiting on the Wing’ post I’d mentioned that I had news, well the news was that my sister, Lorraine, and Brother-in-Law, Graeme, had asked me to be godfather to my nephew Jonathan.

Needless to say I was delighted to be asked but none the less, in true Ambrose style, I had some issues about performing my part of the service. As godfather it was my job to stand before my family, the congregation and the priest, renounce Satan and state that I did in fact believe in God almighty. Problem is I do not nor ever have believed in God, almighty or otherwise.

Now I know most people would not have any qualms about doing this, they are only words after all, but this is me and we all know I love the angst. It does have to be said at this point that I cannot allow myself to let you make the assumption that my hesitance in this matter was due to taking some sort of moral high ground. No if fact my apprehension was due to the fact that my believes (or disbelieves I suppose) on this subject matter are widely known and my fear was that at best my ‘white lie’ would end in the best case with my being asked to leave that holy place or, at worst, being stoned to death on the steps of the chapel.

The service was last Sunday and, after some confusion amongst my mostly lapsed/heathen family over the fact no one could decide it the front wooden shelve from which the knee rests come from was in fact a seat, it was near time to take my oaths. The service was led by the kindly Irishman, and EK legend, Father Mac who was quick to point out at the beginning of his service that on an occasion such as the Christening of a child, denomination was no great concern in his eyes. This statement made me feel worse. Despite my feelings towards practiced religion I was of course feeling guilty about lying to a priest in the first place, but to lie to this man, a good man who would never judge you by your religion or lack of it as some can, to lie to a man like that I’d deserve for hell to exist just so as I could be sent there.

As Father Mac approached us in preparation for the oaths to be taken I prepared myself to rise and be damned, Just as the last wave of guilt passed over me I realised that he had begun, the time was now and to my amazement and great relief I was remained seated. Better still Father Mac and the eyes of all that were able were on the star of the show as little Jonathan looked up the big man in the dress with a natural confusion as he was spoken to in the well known Irish murmur. The oaths were asked. I renounced Satan but was able to keep my mouth firm and unnoticeably closed when the question of believe was asked, better still there seemed to be no ill effect on or scorch marks left when I traced the sign of the cross on my Godsons head.

I was and am very proud to have been asked to do and be such a thing as I am to Jonathan. All that remains now is to be there for him, answer the questions which kids don’t ask there parents, give the odd bung now and then and obviously if I feel he needs it threaten the odd obstacles, which may occur, with the severed head of an animal put into said obstacles bed.

***

Anna and the Church

As a side piece to my christening story here is a small story about my niece Anna on the day of her little brothers christening.

As Lorraine and Graeme were getting ready to leave to attend the mass before the christening service their daughter of 4 years old, Anna, asked them “what’s mass?” Anna was quickly seated and explained to as briefly as possible the ins and outs of mass, which has attended before, and the reasons for attending Church.

Anna quietly contemplated all that she was told and after a breathless wait screwed her face up and said “nah, I’m not going to that.”

That’s ma girl.

The Geekter-Scale

Michelle has come up with a geek rating system which she calls The Geekter-Scale.

There are five categories:-

Sci-Fi (Star Wars/Trek, Stargate Buffy Angel etc)
Comic Books
Video Games
Movies (knowledge and ownership of)
Computers (knowledge of workings)

Each category has 3 points with and extra half bonus point for going “the extra mile”. The extra mile would constitute, for example, ownership of Star Wars novels/toys, Superhero action figures, the ability to build a computer or just general over excitement about a topic related to a relevant category.

My Scoring is as follows: -

Sci-Fi - 1.5
Comic Books - 3.5
Video Games - 1
Movies - 3.5
Computers - 1
TOTAL - 10.5

Try it out