My Stag

"A bachelor party (also called a stag party, stag night (UK and Ireland), or
bucks party (Australia)) is a party held for a bachelor shortly before he is
married, to commemorate his final opportunity to engage in activities a new wife
might not approve of, or merely to spend time bonding with his male friends. A
bachelor party may involve activities such as going to a strip club, hiring a
female stripper, drinking alcohol and gambling."

The above is the reason I thought it best not to have a stag night. I didn't really see the point, I mean I don't drink or gamble and, I know this is weird but, I don't want to go and see strangers getting naked in front of me. However I was convinced, by David, that if I agreed to have one it would concentrate on the "bonding with male friends" and despite the fact that I'm not much for male bonding* either I agreed.

* Stereotypical common activities of male friends include watching sports on
television, drinking beer, or going for a curry.

Following that agreement I found myself very nervous about the prospect of the Stag, I had been told that David with Sparkie were going to a lot of trouble to think something up that I would like, which while nice I was sure would be a disaster. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, I was, I am very grateful for the thought, but lets be honest; I am not an ordinary person who likes... well much of anything really, and its nobodies fault that they can't understand that, I'm odd and I'm fine with that but some people, I think, think that I can't really not like the stuff they do. After all they like it so why wouldn't I? Anyway, I was nervous and I phoned David and called it all off.

Not long after the call he was round at the flat and was again assuring me that it would be fine and I'd have a good time and blah blah blah. It ended up with a list. He told me to write a list of things that I wanted for my Stag Night. The list was as follows: -

1. No Nudity of any kind.
2. No surprises.
3. A quiet night.

Simple. Not ambiguous in any way, wouldn't you agree? So you can imagine my surprise when I found out my best men had organised this.

And also planed for everyone to dress in superhero costumes while out in Glasgow.

I found out when I overheard someone express concern that I wouldn't like what was going to happen. They never told me what the something was, David told me after a few texts expressing my concerns and then a few more which expressed my violent opposition to the costumes. He wasn't too happy about it all but he did agreed not to do the ambulance thing right away and eventully gave up on the costumes.

So all is said and done now and it looks like I'll be going for a quiet drink at the Crooked Lum. Now some of you may read this and think "that's a rubbish Stag Night" and you'd be right. But it is my Stag Night, and it is all I ever wanted to do if anything at all.

UPDATED

It's come to my attention, that is a few people have said, that this post appears to convey anger and that I have been mean spirited in its writing. If that's how it comes across I am sorry for that. I'll admit I was angry when I heard of the proposed plans for the night but my objective here was to make people aware of my peculuarities. It was a good Stag night that David and Sparkie organised, truly it would have been a great stag. My point was I don't want a Stag night and I felt I had to make people aware that when we go on that night out before my wedding that they wouldn't be attending a stag night.