The Last Christmas

Michelle will have our last Christmas as a couple this year; next year will be our first Christmas as a family.

If you don't know already, Michelle is pregnant with our first child. I have no scans to show anyone as yet but, like all parents, as soon as I am able to I will bombard you with any form of picture I can get my hands on. Until then we have Christmas, the last Christmas of our lives as we now know them. True, our baby will only be roughly twenty weeks old this time next year (look forward to the tradition infant with Santa suit/hat photos everyone) and though he or she will be completely unaware of what is going on and will perhaps only be able to move by rolling over I have a small suspicion that he/she will be the centre of our attention.

Being completely honest with you, a small part of has the odd fleeting thought that there's not much point in buying a baby Christmas gifts; the second the would-be gifts are out of sight, to the babys mind, they have ceased to exist due to a complete lack of the concept of object permanence in its tiny brain. The logic of this line of thought will naturally fall by the wayside I'm sure, giving way to a more caring and nurturing me... I'm sure it will... Sure...

We are, Michelle and I, over the moon. Michelle has wanted a family for a long time and it took me ten years with her to realise that I wasn't 17 anymore. I didn't want to give up what I had; a sweet life. A sweet life - Watching TV, playing games, reading comic books - it took me this long to realise that my sweet life was a waste of time. My priorities fell into place somehow; I realised that Sundays in the pub, what's going on in Lost and who will be in the next Batman movie doesn't matter. It was all a road to nowhere, a waste of a life. It took me ten years to figure out that. I used to consider myself fairly bright. For a long time I had felt something missing from my life, an emptiness, and when I saw those two blue lines I didn't feel like that anymore.

This has been a difficult year for my family following the tragic loss of my aunt just a few months ago. The Christmas period will be difficult for us all; you can't help but be aware of the empty seat at the table. I hope that our happy news will help everyone not to dwell on what we have lost but to look forward to better times.

I look forward to what's to come. To baby pictures with antler headbands or little elf suits (it happening!). To stories of magical beings bearing gifts. To new traditions being made. To a new life, both literally and figuratively, and all that entails.

Merry Christmas everyone,

Have a good one.