Emergency Call

I’ve just played a message that was on the phone in my work on the speaker phone. The message played as follows: -

"Aargh shit! Awright, Ah’ve cut ma willy on a barb wire fence, ah need help. Ah f**kin’… Whit ah need is a tube of Savlon, a plaster – big plaster, and ah f**kin wet suit and a divers helmet. Bye."

The time of the call was early Sunday morning the caller was unknown.