Three Weeks in '98: Toothpaste Fury! Part 2

I hadn't been there but I know all the details. Slowly and cautiously five boys who were soon to be men shakily wrote a letter each. J-O-B-B-Y. People still marvel at Taylor's 'perfect B'. Apparently the rest of the letters were penned so fearfully that they appeared skewed and rough, but not Taylor's B. When the 'Y' was done the five young men had sighed a breath of relief. Then the girl sat and casually drew stars and swirls on the same pallet and Johnny squirted some toothpaste and half an hour later our good and passed out friend had transformed into… well, let's just say, you wouldn't like him when he's angry.

The first neighbour had come out after about ten minutes of Titch shouting and swearing at my front door. She was a quiet woman who lived with her elderly mother.

"PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO FUCKING SLEEP! YOU FUCKING CUNT! FUCK OFF!"

Even Titch's language wasn't that strong. This verbal assault only lasted a few minutes but we all knew what would be coming. The second neighbour came to the back door to check if we were okay and talk tell us how disgraceful she thought the first neighbour had behaved, she also knew what was coming and warned us to calm down our friend before they got here and they arrested him.

Gareth volunteered first and we sent him out like a Christian facing a lion. He did quite well at first, kept his distance didn't shout or make any sudden moves. In fact he actually calmed Titch down. Then he did something I will never understand to this day, Gareth, tall and skinny punched the calmed thick and bulk Titch in the gut. It didn't go down too well. Titch looked momentarily confused and looked down at his stomach and then showed Gareth how a shot in the gut should be done. He folded like a lawn chair and attempted to crawl towards the door and away from Titch's renewed (and frankly justified this time) furry. He begged us 'Let me in he's going to kill me!' but as we saw it he'd made his bed and he could lie in it.

After Gareth had ran, Titch tried to kick down the door to get in. He might have done it if he hadn't been so drunk that he couldn't come close to connecting with the door without falling over. While doing that David's dad had come over to tell him to go home. David's dad is not a guy you would want to have a disagreement with, in fact, you probably don't want to look at him the wrong way either, so it came as quite a surprise to all of us including Ian when Titch told him to piss off. After a moment of explanation Ian had agreed that he too would have been pretty angry and left Titch to his task with a warning about keeping it down a little.

By this time Gareth had come in the back door and he came with me out on the front step. Titch accepted his apology and I told him he should go home. He refused. He wanted the person who had put the tooth paste in his hand and wouldn't go until he had him. We were at a standstill, so Johnny thought it would be a good idea to wave and laugh at Titch from the window. Another berserker rage, Titch made for the door, Garth and I got in a locked it and then heard the nice neighbour tell Titch that the police had been phoned.

This was bad. The neighbours were cool enough not to say anything about Titch to my parents, and my mum didn't speak to the psycho, but if the police got in the house we were all, for want of a better word, fucked.

Titch ran up toward the school and we turned out all the lights and hid in the kitchen. As we sat there quiet and listening in the dark someone asked 'what if they come to the back door?'

They had just drove by and slowed down, much to the relief of us all. When we were sure the police were gone David said he'd go up the school to speak to Titch. Now if you know David then you know this probably wasn't the best idea, the reason being that he was a pretty likely suspect in the pasting. Apparently Titch thought so too and charged at David from the school. Dave didn't run however he just met halfway and stared to talk.

***

Kaine had grown up in Mauritius and had been taught in an American school and so spoke with the accent. He was always relaxed and laid back (probably dew to the copious amounts of gange he smoked). He was pretty tired and getting hung over, it was 4:30am and time for him to go. He phoned a taxi even though he didn't live that far away and when he came out the door to get it Titch ran. David probably would have held him back if he hadn't been laughing so much. Later Kaine told us that after he had sprinted to the car, having been relatively new in town and having a raving maniac getting closer to the car he had just screamed 'DRIVE MAN, JUST DRIVE!'

***

David came back down about half an hour later and told me Titch wanted to come back in. I said okay.

Next: The Aftermath.